To sum myself up, I'm a very complex person and I'm not wired like most guys. I live by a very old fashioned set of standards on one hand, while still trying to deal with living in the modern world and finding a happy medium between the old fashioned and the modern on the other hand. I'm not afraid to go against the grain or take the unpopular position on something. I think I was born in the wrong era though.
I am lucky enough to have a wide array of friends... my own "diverse universe" of friends. They aren't all on here by any means. Of these friends, there are a few people I consider my favorites, but I refuse to name anyone as a "best" friend, because in my experience, within 24 hours of complimenting someone, they let me down, so why rock the boat?! I have good family relations overall, and in addition to being lucky in having a lot of friends, I am even luckier to have some extremely awesome friends that stick by me through whatever happens in my life. I've had some friends for just a short time, and others as far back as 1982.
My grandmother used to warn me to be sure that my friends were "true friends." I never understood what she was talking about until I reached a point in my life where a natural "evolution" began to take place between the "acquaintances" and the "friends." I know the difference quite clearly now. Some "friends" disappear into thin air when you need them the most (or at all.) That's when you realize who your true friends are. As for those people, I do my best to maintain those relationships, but that's not always within my control. It's a two way street.
Being a true friend isn't about how long you've known someone, how much time you spend around them, or even how often you communicate with them, although those are obvious important factors, especially in maintaining friendships. It's about the genuine quality of your friendship as well as the authenticity of it. It's something that can go in waves sometimes, due to circumstances that are both within your individual or mutual control... or not. I have some people that are considered "true friends" that I hardly ever see or talk to for various reasons, BUT, they'll be there for me just as I'll be there for them if and when needed.
Even though we don't formally do an annual written review of our friendships, they may be under constant evaluation without even thinking about it. As long as there are no red flags setting off alarms, we never have to question the validity of our friendships. When the sirens do sound, however... if ever... you typically have a short window of opportunity to work things out, or risk losing what you thought was a quality, genuine friendship.
On rare occasions, I've had to terminate a friendship, but never before exhausting all efforts to save it. So in the end, when I can walk away from someone with a clear conscience, knowing I've done everything I can do to avoid walking away... I'm at peace. Luckily, I don't reach that point too often. In the Summer of 2006, I had to end TWO 15 year friendships at the same time. That's what happens when you move from "true friend" to "user" with me. No matter what these two do to correct the situation, they will never be able to even be considered acquaintances in the future. Once it's over... it's over.
It's extremely rare that people end a friendship with me, because I'm true as can be with my friends. I'm usually the one that will eventually feel pushed beyond the limit, and frankly I'm too tolerant sometimes, but sometimes that's a good thing too. More commonly, people start out as acquaintances naturally, evolve into friends, and evolve into true friends. Sometimes people are also bumped back down to acquaintances when I realize I was wrong about them, but not so wrong that I want them out of my life. Those situations are almost always brought on by the other person. I'm consistently true to my friends without any waivering. Unfortunately, all too often I'm the true friend even to the acquaintances, so the scales are often not balanced.
Having such a defined code of friendship doesn't make me better than anyone. It just means I keep it real. People who are my true friends value my friendship as equally as I value theirs. I think that's about as realistic as anyone can expect it to be in order to consider it a "true" friendship. I think I keep myself under evaluation more closely than my friendships, which sharpens my awareness of who my true friends are or aren't on an ongoing basis.
I can't stand being used as a Human Infomercial, defined as a person used to fill a life programming gap until new programming comes along. You know the type... Sally breaks up with Harry so she uses you as someone to dump all her baggage on, and to have someone to talk to and pass the time away, but then Sally meets Eddie and forgets you ever existed. I have no room in my life for people that want to use me to pass the time. Get lost.
I'm single, and I'm MUCH happier that way. You should be too. I've been in relationships... and what a joke those were! I have come to the logical conclusion, based on experience, that the following statements are facts, not opinions and additionally, you can view my animated graphic with the top ten reasons to stay single which is nestled within my pictures on here:
1) The word "love" is so overused, it has lost its meaning.
2) People move WAY too fast in relationships. This is the main reason they are destined to failure from the word "go." All relationships are subject to a six month MINIMUM "good behavior" period where people hide behind themselves. Around that six month point, our true personalities start to leak out, and for many sap ridden folks, it's too late as they've already drowned themselves in their "relationship" to the point of no escape.
3) Sex is horribly abused and therefore overrated. If a law were enacted forbidding sex, only the truest relationships would survive. I'd say, 1% or less.
4) Winter is the devil's season, and the devil IS a woman.
As I said at the start of this profile, I'm not wired like most guys... and I'm fine with that. If you have a problem with that, it's your problem, not mine. I don't force anyone to be my friend, so if you can't handle the realities... you're free to leave at any time.
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